Wacko Woman Rips Off Her Ex-Boyfriend’s Scrotum 36

Yeah… I am sitting here with my legs crossed, too. The title alone is enough to make me cringe, but here is what happened….

On March 30th, Christina Reber busted into her ex-boyfriends apartment, first struck him in the head, then grabbed hold of his dangling jewels – and wouldn’t let go. The victim describes he was “in incredible pain when Reber grabbed [my] scrotum and began digging in with her fingers.” Finally, the ex-boyfriend was able to pry her hand away after they fell to the ground during their Battle for the Balls.

The police report indicates that the scrotum area was “completely torn loose from his body.” Reber reportedly “refused to let go of his scrotum,” but the victim was finally able to remove his balls from her vice-like grip.

As if the story isn’t already good enough…. After the police and EMT’s showed up, he was taken by ambulance to Ball Memorial Hospital!

In a follow-up interview two days after the incident, the victim told police that his family jewels was “so swollen he is unable to walk and is missing work.” The man added that his package “is still bleeding and doctors are not sure if there is permanent damage to his groin or not.”

Why the attack? The now-singing-soprano ex-boyfriend told the cops he had ended the couple’s eight-month relationship days before the assault.

I wonder if roses would have worked better….

Reber was charged with aggravated battery and illegally entering the victim’s home, both felonies. She was also charged with a misdemeanor domestic battery, according to an affidavit. Reber is next due in court on April 30.

So, guys… what do you think… were the charges appropriate? What do YOU think Reber should have been charged with?

Here is a copy of the report.

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36 comments

  1. Thank you. I’m going to make sure
    A – that no girl I’ve ever known reads this
    B – that I’m extra nice to my wife (as opposed to the normal ridiculously nice). Just in case.

      • ‘m just trying to imagine the scene – her screaming at him, and him…just screaming. Definitely in the category of “funny only when it happens to someone else”

        • I’m just trying to imagine what you guys are thinking when reading this. So I just think about what it’d feel like if our little spot that we all know so well was ripped off… And I’m doubling over now in imaginary pain and blocking anyone from coming near it.

    • Oooooo… I like the registered as a sex offender. Personally, for what she did, I thought she should have harsher charges. I like that one… forever my dear because you ex will have to live with your mutilation forever.

  2. Wait a minute Michelle – “Ball Hospital Emergency Room”??? anyway, you wrote this up really funny – but why the cat pic? why involve this sweet cat in this? also – this reminds me of the 2 little old ladies who were driving behind Lorena Bobbit (could she have had a more suitable surname?) when Lorena threw her husband’s penis outta the car window…well, it hit the old ladies windshield…and one of the ladies said to the other ” did you get a load of the dick on that bug?” :-) continue…

    • The cat is because there wasn’t a whole lot of options that I cared for in image search to include on the post. And I rather liked the cat, so what the hell.

      Yup, “Ball Hospital ER”

      Did Lorena really toss his penis out the window? I don’t recall that, but then, I didn’t listen or watch the news much back then.

  3. Your story says she attacked him on April 5. But the police report indicates he was at the hospital on March 30 and the report was dated/filed April 1. Hmm ….

    Nevertheless, I read this with my legs tightly crossed. Eeewww!

    • Oops, thanks. The April 5th was the date that it was published on “The Smoking Gun” website. Thanks for pointing out what I missed. I changed the date.

      Yeah, my legs are still crossed.

  4. Yes, Bobbit did toss the guys member out the window and it landed in a field next to a 7-Eleven. They searched for it and was able to do surgery. Wow, and this here gal wasn’t even married to this guy, only dating for 8 months….just think if they would have been together longer! That’s taking tearing things apart a bit too far.

  5. forwarding to my on-again off-again boyfriend. Silly bastard has a ring piercing though the ball sack….. buahahaha
    -note: he has ‘stored’ all of his crap in my basement for nine months; no money and no help when I cannot make the rent… mostly because of the big-ass storage/basement,
    De-balling? Probably not. civil court….hmmm sounds good

  6. I wish there was an alternative to the “like” button to click on for stories like this. Perhaps an “OMFG That Just Freaked Me The Frick Out But Also Made Me Laugh Just A Little Bit” button.

  7. Sorry I’m late to the party here! Been busy writing and then rewriting a marathon post, and just now getting around to checking out what other folks are up too. (what’s with this new comment box in which you can’t see your curser? annoying as hell if ya ask me, WP!)

    Not sure what I can say that hasn’t already been said… I immediately remembered the Lorena Bobbit story when I read this, and I wondered if this woman in this incident had a psychiatric evaluation, because this sounds like industrial strength CRAZY to me! And even though I’m a guy, I always tend to wonder what the guy in a story like this might have done to make a woman flip out and become so spectacularly violent in such a bizarrely horrifying way Was it just that he broke up with her after only 8 months?

    Not sure about whether the charges are severe enough. Hard to say without knowing the whole story on both sides

    The fact that he was taken to .

  8. Effing new comment box closed up on me!!! As I was saying, the fact that he was taken to “Ball Memorial Hospital” is pretty damn funny, and proof that Fate or whatever it is, has a diabolical and twisted sense of humor.

    I guess my biggest impression of all this is… that I’m just GLAD AS HELL IT WASN’T ME!!! LOL

    • LOL… I’m reading the first part of your comment, and it just stops. Then I saw this one. LOL… funny!

      I just cannot imagine every doing something like that. There isn’t one person on the face of this earth that is worth that kind of bullshit over. Sure, someone rapes my daughter, sister, mother, I’ll be happy to do that to the rapist. But not an ex. No way. No how. Nope. Not worth it. Don’t let the door hit your ass on the way out.

      Yeah, I do hope that the guy has some sort of sense of humor to at least shake his head when he realized he was at Ball Memorial Hospital.

      • Sometimes I wish that WP would just stop fucking around and leave well enough alone! I just posted a reply to you from the drop down, but it wouldn’t let me get down to the “post comment” box. So I copied it, and showed up here to post it, and yes I know that there are far worse things to complain about…

        Anyway… I think that most reasonably well adjusted people would not do that either, and that woman has some majorly serious issues, such as being extremely violent in a horrific way, and yes, mayhem and mutilation are very serious crimes. Ball Memorial Hospital? Still better than Ball Memorial Funeral Home, which is where his could have ended up!

        • Yeah, if you are clicking on the very bottom “thingy” in the dropdown, sometimes the “reply” button doesn’t show. But you can “grab” the box and resize it so you can see it.

          Now, it still remains to be seen if his scrot sack will indeed visit the Ball Funeral Home. At least it’s just the sack, not the actually balls. But still… what’s going to protect the testes? Okay, I got the shivers thinking about it, and I’m not a guy….

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