BREAKING NEWS: Mitt Romney cracks. Dons an Edward Scissorhands persona.
It appears as though the pressure is too much for Romney. A shocking story swept through the news revealing how Romney was a bully in high school and chopped off another student’s hair. Phillip Maxwell, who is now an attorney and still considers Romney an old friend, witnessed Romney hold the scissors to cut the hair of a student who was being physically pinned to the ground by several others. Maxwell continued to describe the incident which he witnessed with his own eyes (like he’s going to witness it with someone else’s eyes?), “It was a hack job … clumps of hair taken off.” The victim was a student who displayed effeminate actions and Romney thought the student was gay.
