Skip to content

May 21st Celebrity Judgment Day

Some hollywood stars plans revealed for tomorrows Rapture!

Angelina Jolie: Adopt as many poor, orphaned children as possible beforehand.

Kim Kardashian: Shilling for limited edition Armageddon version of Quiktrim.

Justin Bieber and Lady Gaga: Planning the greatest farewell concert EVER!!!!!

Charlie Sheen: Fall off the wagon. Hey, why bother at this point, right?

Kirk Cameron: Delivering a big fat “I told you so” to Stephen Hawking.

Lindsay Lohan: Looking for anyone to blame for this calamity but herself.

Miley Cyrus: Pretty sure she’ll be alright, given her deep Christian roots.

Ben Affleck and Bruce Willis: Feeling like they’ve been here before …

Taylor Swift: Writing a catchy song about her relationship with Earth ending.

Ryan Seacrest: Hosting as many END OF DAYS: LIVE! events as he can.

Tom Cruise: Steadfast in belief that Xenu will bail him out somehow.

Britney Spears: [Is heavily medicated and blissfully unaware of any of this]

Octomom: Breathing a sigh of relief that her financial problems are over at least.

Katy Perry: Patting herself on the back for making “E.T” her final single.

President Barack Obama: [Is still crafting overly complex, nuanced response]

Arnold Schwarzenegger: Lameting how the heck he couldn’t manage to keep this whole mistress / love child thing under wraps for just like five more days …

Tiger Woods: Taking a few swings out on the range, icing his bad knee, then bustin’ out the champagne, cocktail waitresses and mother f*%kin’ condoms!

Donald Trump: Planning a press conference to claim credit for preventing the world from ending, should the calculation somehow be off by a few millennia.

NOTE: These are all made up. Can you think of any that should have been put on the list?

Courtesy of The Hollywood Gossip

Go ahead... I can hear your thoughts. Please share with the rest!

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.

%d bloggers like this: