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The TSA Blog

Miss TSA April 2011

When looking through TIME’s “The Best Blogs of 2011” I saw “The TSA Blog” listed. Ayup… a blog all about TSA, from the TSA’s point of view.

Spokesman “Blogger Bob” spends much of his time debunking myths that didn’t need debunking and expressing a peculiar sense of humor. He also manages to ignore most of the questions raised by commenters — an unruly mob whose collective blood pressure seems to rise each time Bob blogs.    

The most recent post was generated because of Paul Rand setting off the TSA alarm recently. In this post, Blogger Bob boasts about the benefits of the “Automated Target Recognition” (ATR), and through the links, I did come across an example of what a TSA security officer sees with “Backscatter Technology,” so thought I would share this image. Click on the image to the left to view in full size.

Couple other items of interest on this site… If you ever feel the need to vent, this is the place to go. I skimmed through the comments and they all expressed some sort of anger towards the TSA – and it did not matter what the topic of the post was about, everyone just vented.

On the flip side, however, is a re-occurring theme called “TSA Week in Review” where Blogger Bob lists items confiscated in security screening. I have to admit, there are some rather interesting items listed. What is more interesting, though, is I have to wonder if these people have two brain cells in their head to rub together. Here are a few examples:

Gassed Up Chainsaw: Believe it or not, the chainsaw found at Elmira (ELM) was not the problem here. You can travel with your chainsaw as checked luggage, however, gassing it up is the problem. You know… Gas? Highly flammable liquid…

Woah… wait a minute here. You can carry one a chainsaw? I will have to remember this the next time I fly somewhere to attend a lumberjack contest.

11” Machete: An 11” machete was discovered in a carry-on bag at San Diego (SAN).

Why? What idiot ever thought they would be able to walk on a plane carrying a machete? Was this Indiana Jones, perhaps?

False Bottle Marked “Lotion”: Three bottles alarmed the Explosive Detection System in checked baggage at Philadelphia (PHL). After searching them, two bottles were shampoo and the other was a bottle marked “lotion” which had been cut in half and taped back together. Inside the bottle were two clear bags containing a green leafy substance. Green leafy lotion?

This wanna-be drug smuggler is obviously NOT the sharpest knife in the drawer. Must be kin to the “machete-packer.”

I have to admit, I did enjoy reading about the contraband found. I have a bit of a fascination, combined with a low tolerance when directly affected, with how dumb people can be. Stupid people make me want to pull what I call an “NCIS” on them, meaning I want to reach out and slap them upside the head and yell, “What the HELL were you thinking?”

Lastly, amid jobs such as a proctologist, a corrections officer, a sewage worker, a porta-potty cleaner… why would anyone want to be a TSA security officer?


  1. Those Backscatter images get pretty damn personal, don’t they? Especially when they’re Frontscatter images! Sheesh! I mean, I’m not ashamed of showing off what I’ve got, but I’d still like to be able to choose just who I show how much I’ve got!

    The contraband list was pretty funny, and I agree that it’s enough to make you wonder whether some of these folks do have two brain cells to rub together.

    Sometime soon, I’ll have to write a blog post about my pre 9/11 run in with airport security. If I had done post 9/11, what I did on that day pre 9/11, they would have shot and killed me. But if you knew all the details, you’d know that I was justifiably provoked and enraged… Lol

    • They show more than I thought they did. But honestly, I don’t give a hoot how much they see when I go through. I just want to get on the damn plane and get to where I’m going. I mean, it’s not like I’m the first woman they’ve seen in the scanner.

      Looking forward to your airport security story. I’ll just bet it’s a doozy! (is that how you spell doozy?)

      • “I just want to get on the damn plane and get to where I’m going.” I couldn’t agree with you more! Hell, I’d even whip it out and show it to them, if it meant that I got to be first in line to board the plane! But if I did that, somehow I doubt that it would work out that way… Lol

        Doozy? I think you spelled it right, and never put absolute trust in spell-check, because it can make you look pretty foolish – especially when you spell a word correctly, but accidentally use the correctly spelled word in a totally wrong context. Like the night when I was on the road and I was trying to write a sexy e-mail to my wife, and I told her that she had a wonderful pair of perfectly formed “beasts”. At least it made her laugh a lot… 😉

        • My point exactly! Do not blindly trust spell-checker, for it can be a major source of embarrassment if you do!
          Do you fly often? I could write a whole collection of horror stories about bad things that have happened to me in airport terminals!

        • Then you and my wife have something in common. More than anyone I know, she loves to quietly people watch in public places. We’ll go out to dinner, and while still paying attention to me, she’ll zone in on the conversation of the people sitting next to us, and if she finds what they are saying interesting or amusing, she tells me about it – in a discreetly low voice… so they don’t hear.

  2. Love the cartoon but am afraid to look at the blog. Just seeing the letters TSA makes my blood pressure go up. I’d probably have a stroke if I started reading Blogger Bob’s assertions. *%*&$TSA%#^&)*!!

    • Actually I found this one on Time Magazines lists of the best blogs. This one fell under the category of blogs we can all do without. I do manage to get about 6 hrs of sleep a night. I, literally, am on the internet all day and evening. I love it. So much out there to discover, read, learn, love, hate, etc.

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