Activism, Protests & Rights

If touching the skin of a dead pig is unclean. Can I still play football with gloves on?

In her radio show, Dr. Laura Schlessinger said that homosexuality is an abomination according to Leviticus 18:22, and cannot be condoned under any circumstance. The following response is on open letter to Dr. Laura, which was posted on the internet. It’s hilarious! As well as informative.    

Definitely worth a read, even though it’s from 2000. I believe the word is “owned.” (The West Wing later used this as a basis for a great scene.) This just goes to show how people pick and choose what they wish to enforce from the bible. A perfect example of why we should legalize same-sex marriage, and how it is wrong to deny this right based upon religious beliefs.

Dear Dr. Laura,

Thank you for doing so much to educate people regarding God’s Law. I have learned a great deal from your show, and try to share that knowledge with as many people as I can. When someone tries to defend the homosexual lifestyle, for example, I simply remind them that Leviticus 18:22 clearly states it to be an abomination. End of debate. I do need some advise from you, however, regarding some other element’s of God’s Laws and how to follow them:

1. Leviticus 25:44 states that I may possess slaves, both male and female, provided they are purchased from neighboring nations. A friend of mine claims that this applies to Mexicans, but not Canadians. Can you clarify? Why can’t I own Canadians?

2. I would like to sell my daughter into slavery, as sanctioned in Exodus 21:7. In this day and age, what do you think would be a fair price for her?

3. I know that I am allowed no contact with a woman while she is in her period of Menstrual uncleanliness – Lev 15:19-24. The problem is how do I tell? I have tried asking, but most women take offense.

4. When I burn a bull on the altar as a sacrifice, I know it creates a pleasing odor for the Lord – Lev 1:9. The problem is my neighbors. They claim the odor is not pleasing to them. Should I smite them?

5. I have a neighbor who insists on working on the Sabbath. Exodus 35:2 clearly states he should be put to death. Am I morally obligated to kill him myself, or should I ask the police to do it?

6. A friend of mine feels that even though eating shellfish is an abomination, Lev 11:10, it is a lesser abomination than homosexuality. I don’t agree. Can you settle this? Are there “degrees” of abomination?

7. Lev 21:20 states that I may not approach the altar of God if I have a defect in my sight. I have to admit that I wear reading glasses. Does my vision have to be 20/20, or is there some wiggle-room here?

8. Most of my male friends get their hair trimmed, including the hair around their temples, even though this is expressly forbidden by Lev 19:27. How should they die?

9. I know from Lev 11:6-8 that touching the skin of a dead pig makes me unclean, but may I still play football if I wear gloves?

10. My uncle has a farm. He violates Lev 19:19 by planting two different crops in the same field, as does his wife by wearing garments made of two different kinds of thread (cotton/polyester blend). He also tends to curse and blaspheme a lot. Is it really necessary that we go to all the trouble of getting the whole town together to stone them? Lev 24:10-16. Couldn’t we just burn them to death at a private family affair, like we do with people who sleep with their in-laws? (Lev 20:14).

I know you have studied these things extensively and thus enjoy considerable expertise in such matters, so I’m confident you can help. Thank you again for reminding us that God’s word is eternal and unchanging.

Your adoring fan,
James M Kauffman, Ed.D. Professor Emeritus, Dept. of Curriculum, Instructions, and Special (image cut off)

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15 replies »

  1. Thanks for sharing! Loved the humor, and also the way it makes such sharply excellent points about people who say that they take all of the Bible as literal truth, but actually only choose to believe the parts that appeal to them the most.

      • michelle motley, you can reach people i can’t . please tell how moses had over 32,000 little girls raped and their mothers and brothers slaughtered -see bible numbers chapter 31— . he was a pig and king herod may have had only 20 male children killed. moses probably 30,000 boys at the same time based on the number of girls. we need a true movie on moses done it will free the young from these bible thumping freaks.

        • Hi, Barbara. You comment did just tell people. If you like, WordPress sites are free and actually very easy to set up and you may publish anything to your hearts desire that you feel people should know.

          I, myself, am an atheist – but I do support people’s own thoughts and opinions and passions, which is why you are free to say what you like here.

          I did read up on some various interpretations of this chapter, as well as read it myself. As with so many verses in the bible, interpretations may vary. I can see how you believe this with all your heart. I can also see how it may be interpreted differently.

  2. How is one to have faith, but not feel completely stupid based upon what’s actually written in the texts?

    • One can have faith in anything they want. It is just a matter of how much one wants to believe. Nothing in this world is black and white but is entirely full of gray matter. We just need to do what is right for our fellow man, not necessarily for our own needs based upon selfishness.

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