Chick-Fil-A New Homophobic Sandwich Debuts Today
According to The Onion:
In a press conference to reporters, company representatives said the homophobic new sandwich will include the national fast food chain’s trademark fried chicken filet wrapped in a piece of specially-smoked No Homo ham that would be topped with a slice of Swiss cheese and lathered in a creamy new Thousand Island-based Fag Punching sauce.
“The Queer-Hatin’ Cordon Bleu is our company’s way of showing our firm commitment to strong, Christian family values,” said Chick-fil-A spokesman Robert Gary, before adding that the vehemently anti-gay rights sandwich comes served in a combo with waffle fries and a medium soda for just $6.95. “From the very first morsel of this savory meal to the very last bite, customers can envision gays burning in hell with their sodomizing cohorts, and know that our sandwich is on their side.”
And we cannot forget dessert!
“Of course, the young ones will want to finish their meals off right with a No Fudge Packin’ Soft Serve Cone,” Gary added. “I can’t think of a better way to follow up a sandwich this good.”
Chick-fil-A’s loyal customers….
While the release of the Queer-Hatin’ Cordon Bleu has led to anger from pro-gay rights groups, loyal Chick-fil-A customers claim they are happy they can finally enjoy a sandwich that takes a firm stance on the issue of homosexuality.
“Any sandwich that combines that great Chick-fil-A flavor with a hefty dose of vitriolic homophobia is definitely going to keep me coming back for more,” said Atlanta customer John Oaks. “Come Wednesday, I’m going to be first in line for this thing.”
According to sources, the Queer-Hatin’ Cordon Bleu is merely the first of Chick-fil-A’s new family values menu which is set to include the AIDS Is God’s Curse chicken nugget combo and the Fags Caused 9/11 strawberry fruit smoothie.
Thank you, The Onion, for keeping the public up-to-date on the oppression still going on in this world.
FYI… Former Arkansas Governor Mike Huckabee has declared Aug. 1st as a “Chick-fil-A Appreciation Day.”
“Too often, those on the left make corporate statements to show support for same sex marriage, abortion, or profanity, but if Christians affirm traditional values, we’re considered homophobic, fundamentalists, hate-mongers, and intolerant,” he wrote. “Let’s affirm a business that operates on Christian principles and whose executives are willing to take a stand for the Godly values we espouse by simply showing up and eating at Chick Fil-A on Wednesday, August 1.”
I have also heard and read the many LGBT and LBGT supporters are also arranging for “Kiss-ins” and other forms of protest at Chick-fil-A’s on the same date. Check with your local community for information – or just create a sign and show up. Show the community and the world that you believe in equality for all… not just for a few self-selected individuals.
The Onion: Chick-Fil-A Debuts New Homophobic Sandwich
The New York Times: Chick-fil-A Thrust Back Into Spotlight on Gay Rights
CBS News: Huckabee backs Chick-fil-A in same-sex marriage controversy