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The Top 20 Things You Can Say to Irritate a Republican

Mitt Romney

Conservatives are easily angered these days. Can’t say that I don’t blame them. I mean, look at who ran in the primaries… Bachmann (hallucinates that god talks to her), Newt (come on… he’s named after a salamander), Cain (9-9-9), Santorum (frothy mixture from fecal matter), Rick Perry (aka Mr Evil), Jon Huntsman (I rather liked this guy – he put Newt in his place once), Ron Paul (grandpa with some die-hard groupies), of course Romney (flip-flop, etch-a-sketch) and a few other non-notables.

Now that many Republicans are coming to realize, and admitting, that Romney is not much more than a joke, Republicans are rather irritable. So why not have some fun with them!

Addicting Info posted “100 Things You Can Say To Irritate A Republican”, but that are way too many “irritants” listed to post here, plus how many of you will read all 100? That’s what I thought.. No one is going to spend the time reading them all… except me. And only because I want to find what I think are the Top 20 Things to Say. Well, on second thought, after reading what I’ve listed here, you may want to read the rest. They are pretty damn funny.

So here goes!

1.  A Socialist wrote the Pledge of Allegiance.
2.  The Earth is round.
3.  The Presidents’ full name is Barack Hussein Obama and he was born in the United States of America.
4.  Hate is not a Christian virtue.
5.  Jesus was a liberal.
6.  Tea parties are for little girls
7.  The Constitution is the law, NOT the Bible.
8.  The President is NOT a Muslim.
9.  Women control their own bodies.
10.  Please use spell-check.
11.  Health care is a right, not a product.
12.  Global warming is real.
13.  Waterboarding IS torture.
14.  Separation of church and state is in the Constitution, it’s called the First Amendment.
15.  Muslims are protected by the Constitution, just as much as Christians.
16.  Barack Obama is the first African-American President, get over it.
17.  The Oval Office is NOT a “whites only” office.
18.  God is a particle.
19.  Evolution is real.
20.  Jesus was a Jew, not a Christian.

Bonus! Here are ten more that I had to include:

21.  Republicans are hypocrites, they’re just too stupid to know it.
22.  I think therefore I am NOT a Republican.
23.  Republicans that oppose gay marriage are most likely in the closet themselves.
24.  Churches should stay out of politics, or be taxed.
25.  Republicans think rape isn’t a crime, but miscarriages are.
26.  Republicans are idiots and arguing with them is a waste of time!
27.  Glenn Beck is a nut-job.
28.  Rush Limbaugh is a nut-job.
29.  Republicans don’t want to pay for your birth control, but they want you to pay for their Viagra.
30.  Republicans actually NEED Viagra.

There ya go! Enjoy!! Give it a try with your favorite Republican friend, but make sure to have a video camera hidden and running. The bottom line here is that if you want to anger a conservative, tell them the truth. Hmmm…. Just thinking here – I know, scary thought. I have a good idea for another list. So, keep checking back if you haven’t subscribed. Heehee… I’m such an ornery instigator….

The entire list of all 100 is at Addicting Info,100 Things You Can Say To Irritate A Republican (HUMOR)” publishing.

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  1. Thank you for this. #s 14 and 16 are what Rock this deep south girls heart!! “We are almost there” I am putting on my best for 11/06/2012!

      • Just discussing this with one of the [former] Republicans in the family. I looked at the Republican Senate Committee’s withdrawal of $3M from Wilson’s campaign as a victory for the Dems.

        But, there’s another whole layer of analysis. If the Kool Aid Party types had won the Republican primary – would they have continued to fund the campaign against Heinrich as part of their takeover of the Republican Party? Even if they likely would be in even worse shape than they are with Wilson?

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