Obama and Romney Shaking Hands in the Oval Office. Caption this Photo. Humor
Today Mitt Romney talked had some turkey – a Presidential Turkey lunch that is – with President Obama. The two previous rivals for the top seat in the White House had their lunch together in a private dining room adjacent to the Oval Office.
What do you think they said to one another… or more likely, thought. Here are some funny captions which I found today on Facebook. Plus I have added a few of my own.
Anyone care to add more? Don’t be shy, now. Caption this photo!
Quotes from President Obama:
Only 47% of me wants to be shaking your hand.
See that empty chair behind you? Still taken.
Some things money can’t buy, Mitt.
Bill Clinton is dying to know… did you bring the binders?
Actually Mitt, the only reason you are here today is I lost a bet with Joe.
Are you perhaps interested in becoming ambassador to Kolob?
Who let you in?
Sorry. We don’t have an elevator for your car.
I hope you enjoy yourself because it’s the closest you’ll ever get to living here.
Would you like another slice of humble pie??
Back away from the desk and you won’t get hurt…
So how do you like your crow? Excuse me, I mean turkey.
No, you cannot see a copy of my birth certificate.
Unlike your plane, these windows actually open.
Welcome to my house.
Let me give you a list of excellent tax accountants.
So tell me Romney, how does it feel to want ?
Hey Mitt, would you like to see how it feels to sit in the President’s chair? It’s as close as you’re going to get!
Your house may have a car elevator, but my house has stinger missile.
Quotes from Mitt Romney:
A million bucks if you’ll let me take the First Dog, Bo, for a car ride?
Thinking to self: Now I know how Moses felt when looking down into the Land of Canaan.
Thanks for not firing at Israel. I have a lot of big donors there.
Oh, come on… I’ll pay your moving costs!
Hello, I am President Romney. Fox News tells me that I won.
Have you heard if the IRS is going to audit my tax returns? I’ll pay you for this info.
My last offer is $2 billion but you pay closing costs.
I’m telling you, Mr. President. Off-shore banking is the way to go. You’ll pay a lot less in taxes. Oh, gosh. Scratch that last statement, I didn’t mean that. Do you think the photographer heard? Do you have secret microphones in here? Did your Secret Service hear me? Oh, my. Time for me to fly to France.
No, you STILL cannot see my tax returns.
Oh, no. There’s no underlying reason why Tagg bought all those voting machines in Ohio. He so loves a democracy, that’s all.
Mr. President, you ARE the best choice for the White House. You won fair and square. Even beat out Karl’s attempt and fixing the votes. Best of luck this term.
Can I bring my dog in? He’s out on the roof of my Limo.
$500,000 for just a pic of me in the chair. I need it for my FB profile.
So can you hook me up I need food stamps now? I’m unemployed.
I’m thinking of investing in a dog transport service. What do you think?
I just don’t understand how I did not win. I was going to turn Medicaid into a voucher system, take Social Security to Wall Street, yank the rug out from millions of people who now have insurance, and make abortion illegal. I thought that is what America wanted?
_____________
Romney: My last offer, Mr. President. One million for five minutes just to look in the Resolute Desk for the clue hidden in the secret compartment. This secret treasure is rumored to be more valuable than what is in all my offshore accounts.
Obama: Mitt, I spent my first week searching every inch for that compartment. What I found is between Michelle and myself. Now, please… step away from my desk.
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Motley News, Photos and Fun 
Mitt Romney: Thank you President Obama for a splendid lunch.
POTUS Obama: No Mitt, thank you, Ann is now a White House cook, she cooked this lunch. Seems Ann wanted to be in the White House no matter how she got here.
LOL. Good one! I couldn’t think of a good way to get Ann in here. That’s perfect!
Hope you had a good Thanksgiving…and I wish you a happy healthy Christmas & New Year. 😉
Why, thank you, Jueseppi. Thanksgiving was peaceful and uneventful, which is what I wanted. Hopefully Christmas will be the same. Hope you had a wonderful Turkey Day and upcoming Christmas, too!
Obama to Romney: If you look through the doorway, there’s a pair of boxing gloves on the desk. No, they’re not just symbolic (LOL) I’ll put them on if you try any funny shit.
Ha! It would be entertaining to see them in a ring together. We all know who’d win that. Definite age and condition difference there.
Obama: Relax Mitt,we’re not meeting as rivals anymore.
Romney: No really, look at me. I’ve never been so relaxed!
Yeah, right. He’s got that fake “smile for the photographer” combined with “I hate you” look on his face.
The body language is interesting. The President has his hand in his pocket and is relaxed, leaning toward Romney. Mittens, on the other hand, looks like a mannequin and they had to bend his elbow to get him in the ‘shake hands’ pose. his smile looks more like a grimice.
Has he ever not looked like a grimacing mannequin?
Got a point there!
Yeah, when he has that insane serial killer glare that I think is supposed to be his authoritive look.
Perfect description!
So, Mitt, how does it feel not being the one in charge? (Not going for humor here; too busy smiling smugly at the whole scene)
LOL.. yeah, me too. I just love the satisfaction I get from it.
Romney: “You’re squeezing my hand too hard, you’re squeezing my hand too hard!” Obama, “Go ahead, make my day… do so much as squeal in pain and my secret service will take you out.”
LOL! That’s great!!!!
Hiyacynthia beat me to it!!!! Phillip
I’m sure there/s more you can think of…………
POTUS: I know how you must long to sit at the desk but make one move toward it and that secret service man lurking in the doorway will wrestle you to the floor before you can even think President Romney.
LMAO! Yeah, baby! You know, as much integrity Obama has, I wouldn’t doubt that stuff like this goes through his head, and he probably has the biggest shit-eating grin on the inside of his head when he does.
I wonder if he has a squish ball in his pocket he can squeeze whenever he feels the urge to say something like that or bring that shit-eating to his face.
I wouldn’t be surprised.
I’m kinda late for this party, and I’ve also been up most of the night so I’m feeling rather brain dead right now. But I still enjoyed all these captions and I’m grinning right now as I type this. 🙂 I’d rather take my own shot at this when I’m more awake, but here’s one lame attempt anyway.
Romney: You know Mr. President, just between you and me, and please keep this off the record, but I really voted for you for President. I did vote for myself first, but then I just had to vote for you too, and I guess it was something I just had to do, so I voted for both of us for President, and I honestly feel good about that, since it just seemed like the right thing to do. I know you may think what I did is rather strange, but throughout my political career I’ve always tried to see both sides of every political issue, and if there’s certain advantages in both sides, well then why the heck shouldn’t I be in favor of both sides, depending upon where I am and who I’m speaking to at any given time. Does that make any sense to you?
Obama: Well Mitt, actually it does make sense to me, because you are the one who is saying it, and in that context, and even more so, when I remember that first debate in Denver, it makes perfect sense to me that you would do something like that, and then feel the need to tell me about it. But Mitt, why don’t we just eat lunch, relax and forget about the election, because that’s all behind us now.
Romney: Good idea Mr. President! Hey, you know what I really like about the Oval office? The vertical stripes on the walls are all the right height. Just like the trees are in Michigan… Or maybe Wisconsin. Or both Michigan and Wisconsin, because now I remember how much I liked the trees in both states when I was campaigning in Michigan and Wisconsin. Of course I’m sure that you have wonderful trees in Illinois too, and they’re just as good as the stripes on the walls here in the Oval Office.
Obama: Mitt, have you ever given some thought to maybe talking to someone about the campaign and the election? Someone with the training to be a good listener while you tell them whatever comes to mind; whatever your thoughts and feelings are when you think about what it was like to run for President. You might find it to be a very positive experience…
Romney: Why don’t we just eat lunch, relax and forget about the election, because that’s all behind us now.
Obama: (turning away from Romney and muttering under his breath) Thank God I won…
Great narrative Chris, This is one of those times ( at the end of the conversation) when he’s squeezing the hell outta that squish ball to keep his thoughts in check.