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Mandatory Male Birth Control | What’s Good for the Goose…

I remembered an idea I came up with several months ago when I was reading about how Virginia State Sen. Janet Howell (D-Fairfax) on Monday attached an amendment that would require men to have a rectal exam and a cardiac stress test before obtaining a prescription for erectile dysfunction medication. Howell’s amendment was in protest to a bill that would require women to undergo an ultrasound before having an abortion.

My idea? Mandatory male birth control.

In February, 2011, Planned Parenthood was attacked by House Republicans to strip federal funding, cutting money for contraceptives, HIV tests, cancer screening and several other services. The vote passed 240 to 185 – and I was furious!

During the summer of 1981, when I was fifteen just about to go on sixteen, right before my senior year in high school, I lost my virginity. I was dating a local college boy about four years my senior, and sex was becoming a regular activity – but we were wise enough to use a condom. (Don’t even go into statutory rape – I knew damn well what I was doing.) Shortly into my senior year, my best friend Susan became pregnant. Then one night in bed with my boyfriend, the condom broke. I was fortunate and did not become pregnant, however, I knew I did not want to be like my best friend, Susan. With having “old school” parents with a mother that never even sat me down to discuss menstruation (a friend kindly helped me with that when it finally happened), I knew I had a snowball’s chance in hell approaching my mother about oral contraception, therefore I decided to take matters into my own hands.

I called Planned Parenthood.

Being sixteen was no problem as parental consent was not needed, so off to the clinic I go, and out I leave with a years’ worth of oral contraception in my goodie bag. I never became a teenage mother thanks to Planned Parenthood.

So, what’s this about mandatory male birth control, you ask? Let me explain my idea. I have never liked the idea of men telling me what I can and cannot do with my body. I am not pro-abortion, in fact, I hate the idea of abortion. But I absolutely do not feel that any government body, especially one which is predominantly male, should tell me what I can and cannot do with my body. The bill last February was largely based upon the false premise that Planned Parenthood is an abortion clinic. Yes, there are abortions performed, however that is a very small percentage when compared to all the other benefits they provide – especially keeping a young teenage girl like myself from becoming pregnant. Abstinence was not an option. This is the real world folks, not a fairy tale biblical story. Hormones happen. Sex happens. Hiding it, making it “dirty” does not change that fact.

So…. if a male-based Congress can tell me what I can and cannot do with my body, then turn around is fair play.

When a boy “becomes” a man, meaning old enough to ejaculate, then they should be required, by law, to deposit enough semen in a sperm bank for their future availability to use to produce their own children. Their sperm is only for their own use, not public for use by anyone else. Then, after said deposit is made – are you ready guys – mandatory *snip*snip*. That’s right, cut those vas deferens – surgical male sterilization, aka: vasectomy.

Then, no more unwanted pregnancies, since all pregnancies will have to be done artificially with your pre-deposited frozen sperm. And if the Republicans had their way, only after marriage. End result: no unwanted pregnancies, no abortions.

Have I made my point?

What’s good for the goose is good for the gander.



  1. Point well taken, but in my case you’re preaching to the choir because I fully support Planned Parenthood and totally oppose cutting off Federal funding for Planned Parenthood. The experience of your youth and that of so many other young people is a major reason why, most of all because many young people have far less fortunate outcomes than you did, without the availability and use of birth control.

    Uhm, did you intentionally “clip” your poster to read “What’s good for the ‘goo’ is good for the gander”? I thought it might be in keeping with your mandatory male reproductive cryogenics program.

  2. No, I didn’t clip that. Came that way. I’m just too tired to make one myself. Plus I’m house/dog-sitting tonight so on the laptop and photoshop is slower and with just the laptop monitor is a pain.

    Why is our society regressing rather than progressing?

    • Hope that I wasn’t being a nudge by bringing it up… I know that me being a wise ass can be more annoying than amusing sometimes, and I’ll try to be less of a pain if that’s the case.

      Why is our society regressing rather than progressing? I wish I knew. I wish even more that I knew how to stop it.

      • For one, stopping the funding of PP when it has been so beneficial to women over the decades. Next, stopping abortion is not going to stop abortion. It will only take it into the back rooms and cause the deaths of women along with the fetus. Next, the GOP’s wanting to bring religion back into the gov’t – well, it’s always been present in some form, but they’re wanting an even stronger presence. The list goes on and on. I don’t even want to get into the civil rights being violated all the time. The disappearing middle class as corporations take over the country…..

        And you are perfectly fine. It’s just been a long day. Saw the doctor about my MS and having to deal with our fucked up medical system, makes one very tired.

  3. Definitely preaching to the choir. My dad was a founder of Planned Parenthood of Central Oklahoma. I can hardly see straight when the GOP starts attacking and telling lies about PP. My dad was a doctor, a realist and, ironically, a Republican his entire life.

    • Good for him! That’s wonderful as he did so much for so many women, young and old, throughout the years. Now, my political history is not the strongest, but from my limited knowledge, Republicans of past or nothing like what they are today.

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