I remembered an idea I came up with several months ago when I was reading about how Virginia State Sen. Janet Howell (D-Fairfax) on Monday attached an amendment that would require men to have a rectal exam and a cardiac stress test before obtaining a prescription for erectile dysfunction medication. Howell’s amendment was in protest to a bill that would require women to undergo an ultrasound before having an abortion.

My idea? Mandatory male birth control.

In February, 2011, Planned Parenthood was attacked by House Republicans to strip federal funding, cutting money for contraceptives, HIV tests, cancer screening and several other services. The vote passed 240 to 185 – and I was furious!

During the summer of 1981, when I was fifteen just about to go on sixteen, right before my senior year in high school, I lost my virginity. I was dating a local college boy about four years my senior, and sex was becoming a regular activity – but we were wise enough to use a condom. (Don’t even go into statutory rape – I knew damn well what I was doing.) Shortly into my senior year, my best friend Susan became pregnant. Then one night in bed with my boyfriend, the condom broke. I was fortunate and did not become pregnant, however, I knew I did not want to be like my best friend, Susan. With having “old school” parents with a mother that never even sat me down to discuss menstruation (a friend kindly helped me with that when it finally happened), I knew I had a snowball’s chance in hell approaching my mother about oral contraception, therefore I decided to take matters into my own hands.

I called Planned Parenthood.

Being sixteen was no problem as parental consent was not needed, so off to the clinic I go, and out I leave with a years’ worth of oral contraception in my goodie bag. I never became a teenage mother thanks to Planned Parenthood.

So, what’s this about mandatory male birth control, you ask? Let me explain my idea. I have never liked the idea of men telling me what I can and cannot do with my body. I am not pro-abortion, in fact, I hate the idea of abortion. But I absolutely do not feel that any government body, especially one which is predominantly male, should tell me what I can and cannot do with my body. The bill last February was largely based upon the false premise that Planned Parenthood is an abortion clinic. Yes, there are abortions performed, however that is a very small percentage when compared to all the other benefits they provide – especially keeping a young teenage girl like myself from becoming pregnant. Abstinence was not an option. This is the real world folks, not a fairy tale biblical story. Hormones happen. Sex happens. Hiding it, making it “dirty” does not change that fact.

So…. if a male-based Congress can tell me what I can and cannot do with my body, then turn around is fair play.

When a boy “becomes” a man, meaning old enough to ejaculate, then they should be required, by law, to deposit enough semen in a sperm bank for their future availability to use to produce their own children. Their sperm is only for their own use, not public for use by anyone else. Then, after said deposit is made – are you ready guys – mandatory *snip*snip*. That’s right, cut those vas deferens – surgical male sterilization, aka: vasectomy.

Then, no more unwanted pregnancies, since all pregnancies will have to be done artificially with your pre-deposited frozen sperm. And if the Republicans had their way, only after marriage. End result: no unwanted pregnancies, no abortions.

Have I made my point?

What’s good for the goose is good for the gander.

*snip*snip*

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