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The Lie Among the Truths is Revealed

Tuesday night, I jumped aboard the Hobbler game-wagon and joined in her fun “Lie to Me” posting. So I posted “Find the Lie in the List of Truths about Me” where I had to list seven odd or little-known facts about me, but one being a lie. Then you readers are to guess which one it the fib.

Boy, did I get those that participated! No one guessed correctly.

Anyway, the lie is: #6. I have stood at the highest point in the continental United States.

It always has been a goal, but just have not done so. After I visited the lowest point in the continental US, which is in Death Valley at 282 feet below sea level, I always thought it’d be awesome to make it to the highest point here, which is Mt Whitney in California peaking out at 14,495 feet. No way do I want to do Denali in AK, so I decided to keep my goal to the lower 48.

Now, the story behind the truths.

#1. I have been hang gliding.

Yup. Did so when I was a freshman at Purdue. It was something I always wanted to do – to soar high up in the air on nothing more than a glorified kite. So when I started college, I saw they had a hang gliding club. Another friend and I signed up for the training class, which was up at Warren Dunes on Lake Michigan. The dunes there are fairly high, plus easy landing for rookies with the long beach and soft sand. I did five flights. The kites were designed for beginners, so they have limited ability to catch thermals and rise up high in the air. They typically just slowly go down. But landing is still tricky no matter what’s on your back. Just a few moments before landing, the “pilot” is to push up on the cross bar – same concept as a plane landing. Well, I didn’t do so well the first four times and literally planted my face in the sand.

The fifth time was a bit different. I was headed towards the concrete walkway which was laid along the length of the beach for handicapped people. I really did not want to leave my face on the sidewalk. So, somehow, I did it right and “boop,” landed very nicely on my feet.

The first time, naturally, my stomach was in my mouth. But what was amazing is in just one small step, I was airborn. No jumping, no running, just one simple step.

#2. I have held on to the dorsal fin of a dolphin while it pulled me through the water.

One spring break in the early 1990’s, my boyfriend, Jed, and I went to Florida during Purdue’s spring break. Jed and I made our reservations months in advance at the Theater of the Sea in Islamorada, arrived and swam with the dolphins. What I was bummed about, but it was a good thing, is that the water was real ocean water – not the clear water you see in theme parks. It was murky – but it was nice to know they lived in their true waters and not in “fake” ocean water. However, it was difficult to see the dolphin below the water. We did many things, but the best was holding on to the dorsal fin and being pulled through the water. Magical!

#3. I have done a photo shoot for Playboy Magazine.

Yup, I most certainly have – much to hiyacynthia’s dismay since I am not one of the more well-endowed women.

In spring, 1984, a sophomore at Purdue. An announcement came out that Playboy was putting together their “Women of the Big Ten” issue and would travel to each college and interview women to pose. One woman would be chosen for each category, which were 1) Nude; 2) Semi-nude, and 3) Fully clothed.

I tried out for the fully-clothed. And so did about 5,000 other women. I was chosen and thought I had won the lottery.

The shoot was just outside of Ross Ade Stadium (football stadium) and I was wearing a very short summer dress. Low cut – but I didn’t have cleavage anyway. The dress was tight (of course), flower print, thin material, and a very very short skirt that would fly up in the air as I bounced down the stairs carrying my books. Underneath was a very tiny pair of panties, designer of course, and not much to them. Simply imagine the famous Marilyn Monroe photo standing above the grate with the air blowing her dress up. Same concept, except I showed panty.

Sadly, I did not make the issue. Not everyone did. There were 30 girls over all, as back then the Big 10 was ten schools. Penn State had not yet come aboard. It all depended upon how the nudes and semi-nudes came out. If they had enough of those, then us fully-clothed went to the cutting room floor. They paid me $200 and that was it.

#4. I “did it” on the 50-yard line at Purdue’s Ross Ade Stadium.

Yup. With same boyfriend, Jed. Hell, we dated for like eight years. We planned this all out carefully as sneaking into the stadium was very much frowned upon. So one night, weather favorable, bright moon (we wanted this to see the stadium bathed in moonlight), we climbed the fence around the stadium with blanket in hand, sneaked down the stairs, over the wall, and out to the middle of the 50-yard line with the moon shining bright in the sky – only to be joined by two more moons.

#5. I have stood at the lowest point in the continental United States.

This was covered earlier when I disclosed my lie, which was the next one in line, #6.

7. I went on a date with Ed O’Neil (the actor who played Al Bundy in “Married with Children”).

You betcha.

Summer 1993, I think. He and Nick Nolte were in Lafayette doing some filming for “Blue Chips” at one of the local high school basketball gymnasiums. They stayed at the suite hotel next door to the steak house I worked at. I was a closing server on Saturday night and in walks Ed, and they sat him in my station. Very nice man. Chatted. He mentioned that they didn’t film on Sundays so I jokingly said, “Oh, I’d be happy to show you around wonderful Lafayette Indiana,” (now I was being sarcastic and had that tone in my voice). Much to my surprise, he said sure, he’d love to.

Next morning I show up at the suite. Of course had to go through all the security crap then eventually made it in. We went swimming for a while. Then went into town. Lunch at a local drive-up called the Frozen Custard (yes, they were known for their frozen custard). Walked in the park, fed the ducks. Laughed at the monkeys in the zoo – back when they had the monkey island in the park. Went to a movie – I have no clue what we saw. Then finally went for dinner to another fine dining restaurant I had worked at once before. The owner about shit his pants when we walked in. You see, Lafayette had not seen many Hollywood stars back then. So, of course, the owner gave us the royal treatment. We shared a Chateaubriand for two, and sat in a booth with the curtains closed. No, nothing happened in there. It was for privacy so we wouldn’t be bothered. I was actually surprised that no one stopped us throughout the entire day. Ed wore a baseball cap and kept it pulled down pretty low. Most people would stop, look, look again. Then usually decide it was him but moved on their way as it was apparent he didn’t want to be bothered. “Married with Children” was very popular at this time. LOL… and I admitted to Ed that I had never watched it. I just have never had the stomach for that kind of comedy.

After dinner we returned to his suite. And, yes… I jacked off Al Bundy. My claim to fame. In all truthfulness, though, it was a very nice day. He was nothing less than pleasant and a gentlemanly the entire day. Just like two regular ol’ folks enjoying the day together. I heard all about his past (then current), his sitcom, “Married with Children,” filming movies, etc. And about his life before he became famous. If I recall correctly, he was third string for the Steelers at one time. It’s hard to tell on TV, but he is not a small person by far. I was rather shocked at how tall he is.

Cool thing is, I was still dating Jed, and he was all for me going out on a date with Al. Stupid me… I messed up with Jed and regret it to this day. (sigh)

So… there you go. Probably more than you cared to know. I tend to rattle on when telling personal stories.

26 Comments »

  1. They were all so plausible. And with Mount Whitney so close to Death Valley, I just assumed someone like you would have bagged them both (especially since when I looked it up, I found Whitney wasn’t that much higher than Longs, which I’ve climbed). And you being a dedicated climber and all …

    • Heehee… but there’s a difference between rock climbing and mountaineering and elevation hiking. I climb rocks walls. I’m not into mountaineering nor elevation hiking. I prefer slot canyons. Love the obstacles in them. But going to the highest point has always been a dream, but I doubt it will happen now. I’ve lost that drive.

  2. Have you ever considered writing your autobiography? I am absolutely serious. As you recently mentioned, some of these things I already knew from previous posts. But very infrequently, you have a tendency to let things out in brief but very surprising revelations about your personal life history, that I would have never guessed in a million years. I would love to read the entire book of the history of your life, because I know it would be a fascinating story full of many twists, turns and shocking surprises.

    But it was a lot of fun to read your stories here, and you’ve done some things that I haven’t done, but that I’d love to do – well, except for that interaction with Ed O’Neil – I’d pass on that one, and I also know that you were much better at handling it than I’d ever be! 😀

    Your test was tough – I figured that Death Valley was virtually certain for you, so Mt. Whitney seemed just as certain. I know you’re an adrenalin junkie, so something like hang gliding and even the 50 yard line encounter seemed fairly certain. The other stuff, like posing for Playboy and your date with Ed O’Neil I already knew about, so the only thing that seemed like maybe you hadn’t done, was swimming with the dolphin.

    But the truth is, Michelle, that I didn’t have much faith in my choice, because the only thing I know for sure with you, is that you are capable of almost anything! 🙂

    • Thanks for the compliments. But first… no, no book. My life isn’t all that interesting – many have done more. Much more. Since you know me, then naturally you have more of an interest in reading it. But the general public would not.

      Secondly, I have no desire to write a book. My grammar and spelling is atrocious. And I’m more of an immediate gratification type person. Writing a book would take longer than my attention span would require. I’d get about one chapter into it then get sidetracked and never return.

      • You are most welcome for the compliments. There is a way you could write your book that would get around the issues you mentioned, except for one. Part of what makes you as interesting to me as you are, is that I know only a small part of your story, which is still interesting enough, and it’s what I don’t know that is all the more intriguing to me.

        The same curiosity could be created with the general public by publishing your book in chapters, and at the end of each chapter, you leave your readers hanging, with their curiosity driving them to want to read more, and looking forward to the next chapter. Publishing in chapters would also help you with your attention span and wanting gratification for your work sooner rather than later.

        Your grammar and spelling seems fine to me, and besides, that’s what editors are for.

        But the one thing that is a true deal breaker, is that you said “I have no desire to write a book”. Nothing wrong with this – I’m not so sure I’d want to write a book either. And it takes a certain personality type to want to bare all the deeply personal and intimate details of your entire life, to a world of often unsympathetic and critical strangers. You strike me as someone who wants to keep her private life private, and I understand and respect that.

        Besides, you’re doing just fine right here with this blog, which is always interesting, informative and entertaining.

  3. I deducted that #3 could be true and that you were going to tell us that you TOOK a photograph that ended up in Playboy, since I know you love photography.

    Thanks for the mention, too. Oh, and I thought I was the queen of TMI with my Pee in the Shower post until I read the Ed thing. Whoa (covering my eyes)! 🙂

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