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What if George Carlin were President

Imagine… George Carlin as President of the United States. Every right-winger would have a heart attack, and every liberal, or semi-liberal, and probably a fair amount of those who are neutral, would all be dancing the “happy dance.” Or dancing just like Obama did which the SCOTUS announced that the Affordable Health Care Act was not unconstitutional…

I know I would be doing this dance…. Now, I am a liberal registered as a Democrat and a supporter of Obama – even though he has done a few things I do not care for. But sometimes a leader needs to go to extremes and basically say “F-you” to those in your way is what needs to be done, and that you’re tired of their bullshit. Carlin would most definitely tell people like Boehner to kiss his ass….

Back to the topic… what would it be like if George Carlin were president….

We would live in a country of complete and total fairness. Where personal beliefs of some are not enforced on others throughout the state or country.

We would live in a country which is not bought and ran by the wealthy.

We would live in a country where women’s reproductive rights are controlled by each woman herself – not by a panel of men and priests.

We would live in a country were education is of utmost importance. Where the public is not encouraged to just sit back and “let us take care of things for you.”

Take the next video for example… Carlin talks about the “real owners of the United States.” Here he has the guts to state what is the obvious – that we are owned, that our government is owned by the wealthy millionaires (now we can change that to billionaires and trillionaires). He also continues about what the “owners” do NOT want, which is “a population of citizens capable of critical thinking. The don’t want well-informed, well-educated people capable of critical thinking.”

George Carlin ~ The American Dream

Perfect example today… Mitt Romney. A self-made billionaire created from destroying others. Romney has declared that he supports the privatization of education. No more public schools. Everyone must attend a private school. Naturally he states that lower income families will receive a voucher for their child to attend a private school in order to pacify the poor (oh, remember, Romney states we have a safety net in place now). But I am sure there will be a cap on the voucher, and just like today, there will be excellent private schools and there will be not-so-good private schools. The higher quality will cost more, I’m sure, and I doubt the subsidized education voucher will cover much more than the minimal amount, which will limit the quality of education available to a lower income family.

That is pure discrimination.

This is just taking into consideration early years of education. College would then become a privilege for the wealthy and elite only – which will help aid them in maintaining control of the country and corporations.

This also falls directly into George Carlin’s philosophy of the wealthy wanting to keep the poor dumb. Carlin believed in equality for all and that those with the money are not automatically given the right to control the rest of our population.

Now, let’s take a look at what Carlin thinks of Rush Limbaugh…. My response is Carlin sees the truth for what it is. That is a very admirable quality in any president. And screw hurting people’s feelings who have wronged others. Carlin would tell them just like it is.

George Carlin on Religion

This is probably one of the biggest changes that would occur in the US. Although our country was founded with the freedom of religion, and it has never been declared a Christian country, the right wingers and bible thumpers are doing everything they can, and are succeeding in many areas (women’s reproductive rights) to force their beliefs upon the people in the form of laws.

I have no doubt in my mind that Carlin would repeal any and all bills and laws which are based upon a biblical belief.

I also have no doubt that churches would no longer be allowed to hide under the shelter of a non-profit 501(c)3 bracket. They would all have to start paying taxes just like all businesses and citizens are supposed to be doing.

George Carlin – Pro Life, Abortion and The Sanctity Of Life

With the War on Women which has erupted across the country with pro-lifers and radical, extreme right-wingers taking away women’s reproductive rights to some degree in nearly every state, Carlin would immediately squash all these insane laws. Especially those which require women to have a wand shoved up their vagina; have to wait 24 hours; must be told what their fetus looks like; and so on.

Carlin provides such logic that would be a gift to have present in our government. He also addresses homosexuality in this piece.

I’m going to wrap this up with some lines from the first video posted on this page:

“You know what they want? They want obedient workers. Obedient workers, people who are just smart enough to run the machines and do the paperwork. And just dumb enough to passively accept all these increasingly shittier jobs with the lower pay, the longer hours, the reduced benefits, the end of overtime and vanishing pension that disappears the minute you go to collect it, and not they’re coming for your Social Security money. They want your fuckin’ retirement money. They want it back so they can give it to their criminal friends on Wall Street, and you know something? They’ll get it. The’ll get it all from you sooner or later cause they own this fuckin’ place. It’s a big club and you ain’t in it. You and I are not in The Big Club. By the way, it’s the same big club they use to beat you over the head with all day long when they tell you what to believe. All day long beating you over the head with their media telling you what to believe, what to think and what to buy.

“The table has tilted, folks. The game is rigged. And nobody seems to notice. Nobeody seems to care. Good honest hard-working people – white collar, blue collar, it doesn’t matter what color shirt you have on. Good honest hard-working people continue – these are the people of modest means – Continue to elect these rich cocksuckers who don’t give a fuck about you. They don’t give a fuck about you. They don’t give a fuck about you. They don’t care about you at all. At all. At all. And nobody seems to notice. Nobody seems to care.

“That’s what the owners count on. The fact that Americans will probably remain willfully ignorant of the big red, white, and blue dick that’s being jammed up their assholes every day, because the owners of this country know the truth: It’s call the Amercian Dream because you have to be asleep to believe it.”

RIP George Carlin. May 12, 1937 – June 22, 2008. You are missed, and the country could so benefit from your wisdom and belief of equality and fairness. You would make the best president in history.

Although Mitch McConnell would probably vow to make you a one-term president, too.

What do YOU think the country would be like if George Carlin were President???


  1. Carlin used the power of comedy, which can cut through bullshit with laughter and is one of the most effective means for speaking truth to power…and having fun while doing so.

  2. Been a big Carlin fan since the early 70’s and stayed with him right up to the end. I thought it was great that he did so many college and university gigs late in his career, cause he gave those kids a very different and much needed type of education about the real economic and political facts of life.

    Carlin as president? He’d be great, but I’d be afraid every day that some extreme right wing psycho would shoot him… after being paid huge money by a secret Corporate America syndicate, who’d be so threatened by a Carlin presidency that they would resort to a “Final Solution”.

    Saw all these vids before, but not for a while, so always great to see Carlin again, and thanks for posting.

    Still think that Al Franken literally wrote the book on the best rip on Rush Limbaugh ever, since he methodically and very humorously ripped Limbaugh to shreds in his book “Rush Limbaugh Is A Big Fat Idiot.” which I loved, since I sure as hell don’t love Limbaugh!

  3. Based on some books that I have read, the United States holds their presidential election every four years. At the national convention, major and minor political parties nominate candidates for the president and vice president. Citizens then vote on the presidential and vice presidential candidate of their choice. However, these votes do not elect a candidate directly. Instead, the votes are sent to the Electoral College, and cast ballots for presidential electors. The candidate with a majority in the Electoral College will win the presidential or vice presidential election. squash lessons dc

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